Conversation Cures

fish in solitude - diversity concept, racism and isolation

The change began one afternoon this summer when I was chatting out by the pool with a friend. She has two teenage daughters; I have two early school-aged daughters. I’m always curious about her insights on parenting because a) she’s a fantastic parent b) I can get an idea of what’s down the pike in my own parenting journey.

I asked what her family has been up to. “Lately, we’ve all been reading The Tech-Wise Family, so we can prepare ourselves for when Allie gets a smart phone.”

“Wow! Allie is getting a smart phone?” I was surprised. Allie is a freshman in high school, the oldest daughter. They’d been able to put off smart phones for the girls until now. I guess I assumed it was never going to happen.

The plan was for everyone in the family to read the book and then for Allie to record her goals and some of her own guidelines for her new smartphone. She would present these to her family and they would make any edits together. “Our goal,” my friend said, “is to keep technology in it’s proper place. Thus far, we’ve enjoyed being a family defined by nightly dinners, outings, adventures and deep conversation. We know the smartphone can be a helpful tool, but we don’t want it to be a driving force.”

My friend then pointed me to an article in the Atlantic about post-millenials (iGen) and the smartphone habits they carry that link them to increased rates in depression, anxiety and even suicidal ideation. More outstanding to me, however, was iGen’s decrease in activity outside the home, decrease in activities without parents (fewer post-millenials are choosing to get their drivers license in high school and thus rely on parents to drive) and decrease in teenage pregnancy (along with other “risky behaviors”). In short: iGen are safer (physically) and less active as they practice retreat into the various worlds of their phones.

In short-short: this generation, by and large, are on their phones more that they are with actual people.

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