Conversation Cures

The change began one afternoon this summer when I was chatting out by the pool with a friend. She has two teenage daughters; I have two early school-aged daughters. I’m always curious about her insights on parenting because a) she’s a fantastic parent b) I can get an idea of what’s down the pike in my own parenting journey.

I asked what her family has been up to. “Lately, we’ve all been reading The Tech-Wise Family, so we can prepare ourselves for when Allie gets a smart phone.”

“Wow! Allie is getting a smart phone?” I was surprised. Allie is a freshman in high school, the oldest daughter. They’d been able to put off smart phones for the girls until now. I guess I assumed it was never going to happen.

The plan was for everyone in the family to read the book and then for Allie to record her goals and some of her own guidelines for her new smartphone. She would present these to her family and they would make any edits together. “Our goal,” my friend said, “is to keep technology in it’s proper place. Thus far, we’ve enjoyed being a family defined by nightly dinners, outings, adventures and deep conversation. We know the smartphone can be a helpful tool, but we don’t want it to be a driving force.”

My friend then pointed me to an article in the Atlantic about post-millenials (iGen) and the smartphone habits they carry that link them to increased rates in depression, anxiety and even suicidal ideation. More outstanding to me, however, was iGen’s decrease in activity outside the home, decrease in activities without parents (fewer post-millenials are choosing to get their drivers license in high school and thus rely on parents to drive) and decrease in teenage pregnancy (along with other “risky behaviors”). In short: iGen are safer (physically) and less active as they practice retreat into the various worlds of their phones.

In short-short: this generation, by and large, are on their phones more that they are with actual people.

Warnings about the damaging impact of smartphones are not new (Bill Gates and Steve jobs knew of these impacts long before the rest of us and fashioned their house rules accordingly). So, before we “elders” get our Atari, pay phones, pagers and mixed tape pannies in a bunch and rant about the up-and-coming generation and their naughty on-line behavior, let’s shift to the cure.

The longitudinal research of Sherry Turkle is critical. Her studies point to conversation as the power to heal the painful trends of isolation, depression, anxiety, and even suicide we’re finding in the iGen.

Thanks to my friend and our dialogue pool-side a few summers ago, and the subsequent rabbit hole of reading on the topic of smartphones and iGen trends, I’ve incorporated opportunities for conversation in my classroom. As a Bible teacher, I want to be part of the cure.

Here are some of my best practices in pursuit of real-time connection, empathy, embodied talk and conversation:

1. Limited tech (or tech that is not a fixture) — I know this one is controversial. Especially in the wake of educational technology and the desire to teach technology literacy under the framework of 21st Century Skills. But in a system where seven periods are offered and I teach one Bible class, I think it’s OK to go paper and face-to-face.

a. Do we use screens and tech? Yes, but in an effort to put tech in it’s proper place, it’s for research and the use of portals for submitting assignments.

b. During the teaching and learning process, we do not weave in and out from tech to conversation. I structure screen use at the beginning or end of the block or not at all. The rationale for this is because of the pervasive screeny-ness of our students, the transition between tech and face-time can slow momentum.

2. Socratic Seminar (an oldie but a goodie)– the intentionality built into planning for conversation and listening for dialogue in the wake of the conversation. It also confronts the difference between dialogue v. debate. iGen (just my opinion now) struggles especially with dialogue (suspending beliefs with the goal of finding common ground or shared understanding) because so much of what’s presented online is debate format.

3. TQE Method— I love this one. Sorta Socratic, sorta book clubish. Students read (or watch) and then collect their Thoughts, Questions and Epiphanies. Through a process guided by the instructor, uses those TQEs to guide a class discussion.

a. I do my discussions on the floor in a circle. It’s kinesthetic, a great transitional brain break, and allows the students to look at each other in the eye (just another real-time practice that nurtures empathy and common ground building).

b. I’ve also found this method makes students accountable for what they say, which is another antidote for the “trolling” culture so rampant on-line. At the same time, this method allows students to go back and verbally reprocess or change what they think. Studies have found that there is a certain perfectionism rising in iGen because of the ability to edit (and re-edit) any text, tweet or email. Saying, “never mind, I now think this” while in the flow of embodied dialogue calls for grace and understanding.

3. Discussion (cue intentionality and scaffolding!)– As a previous admin, many times did I see “discuss” written into a lesson plan as part of the guided practice or review. But how? We might be the best question asker in the world, but our kids don’t always know how to discuss and they need our support. This Big List of Class Discussion Strategies is super helpful. These strategies:

a. Provide equal opportunity to engage in conversation and keep the flow class-wide, not just a back and forth between the “heavy hitters,” you know, the kids that are always willing to talk.

b. Approach conversation in a non-binary way… we know how quickly conversation shuts down when it’s yes, no, right, wrong, true, false.

4. And last– restorative circles. These “talking circles” allow students to connect on difficult topics. Smartphones can drive us to drink the cultural cool-aid of objectification (making things, people, into objects that are not objects). Objectification happens as we scroll: consuming image after image… many images are actually people, but the scrolling and rapid intake makes it difficult to make that connection (enter, cyberbullying). Objectification is easier when we are disembodied, or when we are engaging online because it makes the “object” less real. Restorative circles allow us to come face to face with each other in embodied communication, sharing from the heart while we take in responses through facial expression and body language.

Here, students begin to see themselves and others in light of Imago Dei, deeply valuable to God and the community.

Conversation in and of itself doesn’t provide the full antidote. As Bible teachers, we know that the loving embrace and flow of the Trinity is the cure. A knowing of creationism, human value, us as image-bearers, the embodied ministry of Jesus: these are the real roots of cure for iGen (and beyond). Conversation isn’t a cure-all, but it’s what Jesus did, and it’s a start.